Terri Mary Byrne

MY MUM
ITS FOUR YEARS SINCE MUM PASSED AWAY
THE PAIN,GUILT IS STILL THERE JUST LESS RAW
MUM WAS TOLD SHE HAD CANCER AND SHE WENT INTO "FIGHT MODE" SHE GAVE IT ALL SHE COULD AND THEN SOME.. I KNEW SHE WAS SCARED BUT TO PROTECT OTHERS SHE NEVER SHOWED ANY TEARS OR SPOKE ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS.
MUM WAS RESPONDING TO THE TREATMENT,ALTHOUGH IT WASNT GOING TO DO CURE JUST GIVE TIME,BUT IN JAN 2007 I NOTICED MUM WAS DIFFERENT,STRANGE...AND AFTER GOING WITH HER IN A AMBERLANCE I WAS TOLD IT WAS IN THE BRAIN...
MUM WAS ASKED IF SHE WANTED A OP,WHERE THEY COULD EASE THE PRESSURE ON HER BRAIN,MUM BEING CONFUSSED SAID YES.. NO NO NO,YES I WANTED MY MUM TO BE HERE FOREVER,ID HAVE SWAPPED PLACES WITH HER IN A HEARTBEAT BUT TO DO THAT FOR 2 WEEKS EXTRA...NO
MUM WENT TO A HOSPICE WHERE SHE STAYED FOR 3 WEEKS,2 WEEKS LONGER THAN THEY SAID.
HER LAST NIGHT I STAYED WITH HER,LAYING ON THE BED AND IN THE NIGHT MUM CALLED ME FOR A DRINK,GETTING THE WRONG ONE MUM CALLED ME A SILLY COW,AND SMILED,I WATCHED MUM ALL NIGHT
WHEN IT CAME TO THE NURSES WASHING HER I TOOK A WALK AROUND THE HOSPICE,RETURNING 30 MINS LATER I WAS TOLD TO PHONE WHO WAS NEEDED
IT WAS THEN I REALISED THAT MUM WAS GOING TO LEAVE ME
EVERYONE WHO SHOULD BE THERE WAS,BUT OTHERS WERE ALSO THERE WHO SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN,MY NAN GOT THERE 40 MIN BEFORE MUM DIED,
THE RADIO WAS ON AND MUMS FAV SONG FROM THE FOUR TOPS CAME ON FOLLOWED BY JAMES MORRISONS YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING,WHEN THAT SONG STAYED MUM WHO HAD NOT OPENED HER EYES SINCE SHE WANTED A DRINK TURNED TO ME AND SHE WAS GONE.......WHY WHY WHY
MUM ...MY MUM WAS EVERYTHING TO ME,AND LIFE HASNT BEEN THE SAME SINCE
MUM LEFT BEHIND MANY THAT LOVED HER,HER GRANDSONS CHARLIE AND MASON AND ADAM AND MUM NOW HAS A GRANDAUGHTER WILLOW (MUM LOVED WEEPING WILLOW TREES)
I WISH WILLOW HAD KNOWN HER NANA,
MUM HAD PUT UP WITH ALOT OF ** FROM SOMEONE SHE SHOULD NEVER HHAVE HAD TOO.AND THE GUILT FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO DO MORE WILL LIVE WITH ME UNTILL I DIE
THE ONLY GOOD THING IS SHE DOESNT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THAT NOW AND IS FREE AND SAFE AND WITH HER MUM
THE TROUBLE IS THEY LEFT ME BEHIND
MUM I LOVED YOU SO SO MUCH AND THANKYOU FOR BEING MY MUM
TO LOVE YOU WAS EASY BUT TO LET YOU GO IMPOSSIBLE XXX